Alistair McAlpine

Old geezer turns Social Media guru

In Facebook tips, Recent, Writing for the Web on November 15, 2010 at 2:14 p11
My friend Les is not what he appears, he’s a Social Media guru

The Social Media Guru

Les knows everything about Social Media.

My old friend Les is not what he appears, he’s a Social Media guru. Like all mystics his musings need a little insightful translation.

Les owns a couple of hardware stores and I know he’s a Social Media guru even though he’s forever telling me Social Media is a waste of time.

Over a table at the Hogs Breath last week…

Les:  “M’ cus’mers don’ do Sosha M’dya stuff”

Translation: “I don’t use Social Media and I can’t see why any-bugger would, other than young slackers with more time than sense.”

What he actually means: Statistically a lot of my customers must be using Social Media. Facebook has over 500 million users, Twitter over 100 million, LinkedIn 75 million and YouTube is huge. Who are all these people? Some of them must be my customers.

Last Christmas over turkey he spits out…

Les: “Peopa don’ choos’ who t’ buy from js’ cuz of Sosha M’dya!”

Translation: “I don’t use Social Media and I know bugger-all about it but if I did I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t get sucked in by that kind of rubbish and neither would any of the smart people I know.”

What Les actually is trying to say: Today’s buyers are pretty savvy when it comes to marketing hype. Alot of my customers do their own research online and are more influenced by their peers rather than traditional marketing.

Yesterday I picked him up after he tripped outside…

Les: “Sosha M’dya” waste t’ time.”

Translation: “I don’t want to have to work out how to do all this Social Media stuff and waste my time. I have a business to run here.”

What Les means: When I run a promo everyone hates it and I waste hours contacting customers. Social Media allows me to connect with them by answering specific questions about my business, then they don’t mind me phoning or calling. Not only that but the internet is vast and expanding.

Jabbing his cutlery in my direction…

Les: “Y’ ‘spect me t’ coff’ up good dough f’ that Sosha M’dya reepoff?!  Ha!”

Translation: “You expect me to put real money into the Social Media fad? I run a serious business here.”

What Les actually means: Marketing costs me money. Social Media channels are free and people are online right now searching for answers about my business. They might find my competitors who have already have developed a Social Media strategy.

Some people think he’s an old fart…

but when you listen to the wisdom between the spittle, it’s surprising what you pick up.


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